I wasn't going to make a resolution. In fact, I was going to write a blog on being "anti resolution" this year. Then all of the sudden it was December 27th and I found myself sitting at a cozy bar with my husband, at a quaint restaurant in my hometown, having a conversation that was not about poopy diapers or nap times... a rare moment in the life of brand new parents.
"So what's your New Year's Resolution?" my husband asked. I rolled my eyes and replied defiantly: "I'm not making one!" Part of me didn't want to put any more pressure on myself - the kind of pressure that has come with navigating the waters of being a new mom while trying to maintain my business, my health, my identity - and part of me was just too damn tired. Too tired to make any more promises or set any more goals. I didn't want to think about the office waiting for me in Miami or the barbell waiting for me at the gym. I didn't want to think about my son waking up at 4am or discuss whether or not this is normal. I just wanted to sit in that restaurant with my husband and enjoy sitting in that restaurant with my husband. I wanted to enjoy the moment, and every moment from here on out, fully and completely without letting the stress and pressure from the other aspects of my life interfere.
Hold on... that's starting to sound a bit like a resolution.
As it turns out, my anti-resolution tirade turned out to be a moment of clarity. I have spent a lot of time over the course of the past few years looking forward and making plans. I have been building a business and preparing for a new addition to my family. And now here I am, in the thick of it. I am still big on goal-setting and on list-making but since the birth of my son my perspective has changed and I am trying to spend more time immersed in the present.
There is no doubt in my mind that 2013 will bring more changes and challenges than any year prior. How does one prepare for this? In my opinion, by committing, by showing up, and by "owning the moment”. Owning the moment is about being in one place and not wishing you were somewhere else. It is about focus. It is about doing your best but being able to move on when you fall short. It is about accepting that wherever you are, you are there as a result of your choices… and if you can’t change the situation, you absolutely can change the way you react to it. Wherever I am, I want to be 100% engaged in that moment even if it is a difficult one… especially if it is a difficult one.
I didn’t want to make a resolution because I was overwhelmed by the thought of trying to accomplish all of my goals. But when I think of 2013 as a series of moments instead of a never-ending to-do list I can breathe a little more easily. This is my life, it’s not a list of chores.
I rang in the New Year surrounded by family in my home town glad that I had not made a traditional resolution. A single resolution would have been lost and forgotten before our plane landed in Miami. Own the moment. This is something that I can't check off a list. Instead of staring at me from a piece of paper I hope that sits on my shoulders and whispers in my ear when I start to feel overwhelmed. In many ways I don't know what 2013 will bring. What I do know is that I will be there. I will be present in the moment, focused and prepared, ready to bare my teeth or give my heart. This is my life and I am ready to do more and to be more than ever before.